Monday, June 02, 2008

God help me

Readers, it would seem that some 'men of faith' really do see women as replaceable breeder mammals. If they did not, they would not have the misguided notion to send Yours Truly the following email:

Hello Pretty,

That's Hello Kitty's cousin, in case you were wondering.

I'm Kit,

Name changed to protect the guilty, natch.

am passionate, loyal,caring and honest person,am an easy to get along with somewhat quick witted humorous man.

Well, there's a lot in there, and most of it actually sounds pretty good, if a bit form letter-y. I'm aware that dudes usually have a harder time describing themselves than women do. I actually think it's cute that he described himself as 'somewhat' quick-witted...most guys go overboard with a 'look how smart I am' routine. He sounds real. Then again, I have my doubts when somebody calls himself 'easy to get along with.' It sounds deliberately misleading, like calling yourself a gentleman when you're anything but.

I fall in love like a mad person when i have to love someone,

Uh oh, stalker alert! Firstly, when do you 'have to' love someone? Secondly, the 'mad person' description calls to mind a guy who has mastered the drunken angry 4am post-breakup call. Maybe I'm misreading?

Above all about me,am a God fearing man with a child,

And, scene.

Readers, religious people are just fine by me. I was raised in an Irish Catholic family, myself; I can quote the Bible like nobody's business. However, my family instilled a healthy skepticism within me, and a desire to find my own way spiritually. I'm afraid the term 'God fearing' is a bit too fundamentalist for my taste. It's a bit, you know, Old Testament - where men are men and women never leave the house. Fire and brimstone only appeal to me when I'm at a barbecue. FOR MY SOUL!

I kid. To each their own, but I don't like how the funamenalist faction of Christianity treats the wimmins - that includes you, Pope Rat. Females are fully fledged humans, not just baby machines and surrogate mommies...

i visited this site in search for true love and also a loving mother who would love me and my kid...

There it is.

Listen, I think it's actually a good thing that this guy is being honest about his kid. Being a single parent is really tough, and if you're going to be in a relationship, you need to make sure that your new partner cares about your child and is a good role model. It's a tough tightrope to walk once you're a parent, constantly balancing your needs with your kid's. So, maybe when you're looking for a partner, you should look for one with the right qualifications? Like, someone who says she's religious and wants an instafamily? Trust me, kids, there is nothing in my profile along those lines. It certainly doesn't say "Godless Jezebel Seeks Filthy Heathens For Endless String Of One-Night Stands," but it is, shall we say, decidedly secular and independent-minded in nature. I do love kids - I was a nanny for a few years, and because of that, I have no illusions about how much work they are. I may very well have a bambino(a) of my own someday, but am not particularly open to having one dropped in my lap.

i'm on a business trip but want to get to know you.

Twooo wuv and a babysitter for when you're out of town, coming right up!

Nah, I'm busy.

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Anonymous Anonymous said...

I've seen those ads on the dating service I was using. It's probably a scam:

They are *all* widowers with a single beloved child and traveling on business - usually to Nigeria or thereabouts.


12:35 PM  
Blogger Ginger said...

Deborah, that's hysterical! Don't know whether "Kit" is in Africa - I'm sure he's a missionary or some other noble profession that requires money from lovelorn women overseas. Unfortunate for him, then, that I've got a heart of stone. ; )

12:40 PM  

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