It's been a while, how are you?

Hello all,

Sorry that I disappeared on you for a while there. Work got nuts (my usual excuse, I know), and to be frank, I needed the break.

Something else has been taking up my time as well; I think I've mentioned that I've been making jewelry for the past few years. I've been doing it for my own enjoyment and giving the results away as presents, mostly. Last month, I gave a necklace to my friend Liz for her birthday; she wore it to a Super Bowl party, where it got noticed by a friend of hers who's a makeup artist. Next thing I knew, I was being invited to participate in a pre-awards show gift suite. I had to take some time off from writing while I made over 100 bracelets for the VIPs who attended. I gave out almost 200 business cards, and my jewelry was a hit! I've sold a handful of pieces since the event, and am just happy to have a reason to go back to one of my favorite hobbies, which I had dropped for no good reason some time last year.

Although I'm not sure how much longer I want go on writing this blog, I certainly haven't run out of stories. Lately I've been back in touch with a man I used to work with; I'll call him Pete. Already married when I met him (to a really lovely woman), he now has a couple of kids and a propensity to turn the conversation sexual whenever we talk. Nothing has ever gone on, mind you. I've mentioned several times that I don't 'do' married. I was never cold towards Pete's constant flirtation, but I never encouraged it, either. He was my supervisor, and we did bond to an extent, since we worked in a pretty crappy environment together.

When I moved to LA, there were a handful of acquaintances from Boston that I lost touch with. It's not unusual for people to eventually stop contacting someone that they know they'll see very rarely in the coming years, but Pete always kept in touch. He left our old business digs as well, and we kept each other up to date on what we'd been doing.

Here's the thing, though - at the end of an otherwise innocent conversation (always over email, never by phone), he would slip in how much he missed me, how sexy I was, how I had been his 'favorite' at work. I would always smack him down by asking how his wife was; he'd make some glib comment and move on. We'd be out of touch for a few months; then one of us would move, change jobs, get a promotion, etc., an email would go out, and we'd say hello again, with the conversation always ending the same way.

This has been going on for almost ten years, a couple of times a year.

It's not a sexual attraction on my part; he's not a bad looking guy, but that's not his appeal. Pete is brilliant. The quickest way to get to me is through my brain, and Pete can talk about pretty much anything. He listens, too; a rare thing among men. Even rarer is his ability to feel exhilaration, not hostility, during a disagreement. I do have a real affection for him that would never move to the next level. Even though I've never personally indulged, I have a lot of respect for marriage, coupled with tremendous disdain for the idea of being a side dish. Not that it matters; we haven't been in the same room since 2003.

When I was younger and less experienced, I figured he flirted with everybody. I liked his wife a great deal and blew off his saucier comments with a laugh. Now that I'm a little older, I realize he was testing the waters, just checking to see how receptive I might be to a genuine come-on. Not my thing, though, and it was never really worth analyzing, since we live on opposite coasts now.

Not really sure why I'm writing about this - I think I've just been analyzing patterns in my relationships with men lately, and Pete popped up again a few weeks ago. He dropped me an email to let me know that he'd been in San Diego on business, wanted to know if I would have come down to visit him. Wanted to know what I would have worn. I've never understood the appeal of those you can't have - not since I was a teenager, anyway. I appreciate those who are around me and make the most of what I've got. I'm not a chaser, so I do not understand the chaser mentality. I don't know; I feel like I've got to figure a few things out before I get back into dating, which I've put on the shelf for a few months now.

I've been a homebody for the past two months, so I don't really have any crazy stories to report. Maybe things really are changing for me. I'll check in a few more times with the most colorful stories from my past, and then I may very well wrap this blog up. I created it for my own mental survival a few years ago. Now I may have to close it down for my own mental survival.

Ok, I'm going to wrap up this slightly serious post with Sarah Haskins' new funny take on Barbie. Enjoy!