Saturday, June 24, 2006

Zip it good!

During the height of my partying days in Boston (late 90s), I would often frequent a club called The Jukebox. It was a tiny place with two small rooms and two wall bars. The sound system in the back room played hard rock; the front room featured a mix of 70s to 90s pop, and was decorated to look like a miniature version of the club from "Saturday Night Fever." Video screens mounted on the walls played various movies and videos all night, "SNF" being the one in heaviest rotation. The place was always packed, with bodies wall-to-wall by midnight. My friend Samantha and I called it "The Pukebox" because it was so tacky, and because Boston college students tend to drink until they retch everywhere. We kept going back because the cover was pretty cheap, we liked the music in the front room, and the people watching was absolutely hilarious.

One weekend in '97 or '98, Samantha, JoAnne and I headed down to The Puke to scratch our dancing itch. Sam, who was adorable, bubbly and completely guy-crazy, disappeared with a skinny frat boy in about five minutes. JoAnne and I got drinks and made our way onto the multicolored, blinking dance floor, where we tried our best to get our groove on without spilling. I'll tell you what - if you looked down at that floor while you were dancing, your drink would wind up all over you; the blinking colors were hypnotic and dizzying, like the game "Simon Sez" on speed.

I digress. So, we're on the dance floor, which was getting pretty crowded, as it was already about 11:30. People who couldn't deal with the crowd climbed up onto a raised platform that was built into the mirrored wall that bordered the dance floor on one side. We were having a really good time; it was a fun crowd, and the music was great that night. Around midnight, two or three bachelorette parties pushed their way in with their entourages, and things started to get tight. JoAnne and I were separated for a bit; she got pushed farther out in the crowd, while I wound up right next to the platform that was against the mirrored wall.

Now, picture this. When you were dancing on that floor, you were at eye level with the, um, groinage of the people who were dancing on the platform. So I was shaking my moneymaker to god knows what, and there was this smallish, dark man in jeans and a battered-looking, faded blue t-shirt dancing on the platform right next to me.

Every time I turned in his direction, he unzipped his jeans, then zipped them up again.

At first, I thought that he'd just forgotten to zip up after coming back from the men's room; you know, "left the barn door open", that sort of thing. Well, denial ain't just a river in Egypt, dear readers. He kept doing it, looking me in the eye every single time. He wasn't wearing underwear either, kids. It was absolutely uncalled for. I gave him my best "drop dead" look, as if to say "what the hell is your problem, perv?", but that just made him smile - and unbutton.

When a problem comes along, you must zip it*. I danced my little self back towards JoAnne and got off the dance floor. We searched the club for Sam, who was holed up in a corner with her latest catch. It was around 1am, the crowd had gotten seedy, I'd seen way too much of Zipper Man than I would have liked. We were out of there.

UPDATE: You know how the human brain can suppress traumatic events? Well, I had completely forgotten about Zipper Man's sidekick, Boner Boy. Earlier in the evening, JoAnne was dancing on the platform, and had to get off because the guy next to her was standing 'at attention' (in her words, she was 'poked in the posterior'). An interesting night was had by all.

* quoted from Austin Powers: The Spy Who Shagged Me (1999).

12 Comments:

Blogger Linnaeus said...

I've rarely seen this kind of behavior for a couple of reasons:

1. I don't think most straight guys notice as much when other guys do it because such actions tend not to be directed toward them. I sure as hell would never expect a woman to be that vulgar. So we're less attuned to it.

2. Admittedly, I never was much of a dance club person, so I often wasn't in a place where I could observe this idiocy. I'm pretty social and outgoing and like parties and stuff, but I never felt comfortable being on display as much as one is in a club. Couple that with my rather poor dancing abilities, and you'd be far more likely to find me in a pub playing darts or something.

(As an aside, I did get into ballroom dancing because it involves learned patterns rather than improvised moves. That was fun, especially when we'd get all dressed up like we were in the 1940s and go to places with names like the Crystal Ballroom. Maybe I shouldn't have admitted that. :))

Having said all that, stories like yours and those of my women friends never cease to amaze me. I can't think that guys actually believe that this kind of thing is going to endear them to the ladies....

2:40 PM  
Blogger Ginger said...

Ballroom dancing rocks! It's great exercise too.

Yeah, I can't even begin to imagine what motivates a guy to get attention in that way. I think I was singled out buy this dude because of proximity. From what I saw, he didn't do it to anybody else.

It's like dealing with a child; some guys can't get attention in a positive way, they'll take negative attention over nothing.

4:28 PM  
Anonymous CJS said...

Ginger,

First off, congratulations on your blog making it big! I was linked here from an MSNBC story. But, I'm sure you already know that...

The Zip it good story sounds like it was kind of an awkward situation, but I like how you take everything in stride and keep a positive attitude.

One complement, if I may - You really have a unique and magnetic writing style. Not sure what your current profession is but I'm sure you could find a niche in writing, somewhere...

..the, um, groinage... Priceless.

12:17 PM  
Blogger Ginger said...

Welcome CJS, you are too kind.

To say that Zip It was an awkward situation doesn't even begin to cover it...it was one of those moments where a woman (sadly) thinks, "are men really this stupid?" I'm eternally grateful to have so many 'good' men in my life to keep my spirits up.

12:27 PM  
Blogger ninest123 Ninest said...

ninest123 10.10
replica watches, ray ban sunglasses, cheap oakley sunglasses, oakley sunglasses, cheap oakley sunglasses, jordan shoes, michael kors outlet, nike outlet, michael kors outlet store, kate spade outlet online, louis vuitton outlet, prada handbags, burberry outlet online, christian louboutin shoes, michael kors outlet online sale, burberry outlet online, nike air max, louis vuitton outlet online, louis vuitton outlet, polo ralph lauren outlet, oakley vault, nike air max, ugg outlet, ray ban outlet, longchamp outlet, michael kors outlet online, tiffany and co, gucci handbags, ray ban sunglasses, louis vuitton handbags, christian louboutin outlet, cheap ugg boots outlet, tory burch outlet online, michael kors handbags, ugg boots clearance, christian louboutin, replica watches, red bottom shoes, cheap ugg boots, michael kors outlet online, oakley sunglasses, polo ralph lauren, ugg australia, chanel handbags, nike free, louis vuitton, prada outlet

6:23 PM  
Blogger ninest123 Ninest said...

coach purses, michael kors, nike roshe run, air max pas cher, coach outlet store online, nike blazer pas cher, nike roshe, hermes pas cher, coach outlet, air max, true religion outlet, nike air force, ray ban uk, ralph lauren pas cher, abercrombie and fitch, true religion, longchamp pas cher, nike free pas cher, vans pas cher, ralph lauren uk, sac vanessa bruno, tn pas cher, michael kors canada, north face pas cher, kate spade outlet, burberry pas cher, air jordan, longchamp, converse pas cher, coach outlet, lululemon outlet online, scarpe hogan, true religion outlet, michael kors outlet online, mulberry uk, nike free, michael kors uk, hollister uk, oakley pas cher, lacoste pas cher, louboutin, nike air max, north face, timberland pas cher, nike air max, hollister, ray ban pas cher, new balance pas cher, guess pas cher, true religion jeans

6:27 PM  
Blogger ninest123 Ninest said...

north face jackets, oakley, soccer jerseys, celine handbags, nike roshe, ray ban, ghd, mont blanc pens, reebok shoes, abercrombie and fitch, timberland boots, giuseppe zanotti, chi flat iron, nike air max, p90x workout, abercrombie, baseball bats, mac cosmetics, iphone case, babyliss, beats headphones, air max, soccer shoes, bottega veneta, hollister, gucci, asics shoes, wedding dresses, converse, hollister clothing store, vans, louboutin, nike trainers, insanity workout, lululemon outlet, vans outlet, new balance outlet, nfl jerseys, mcm handbags, jimmy choo shoes, instyler ionic styler, north face jackets, converse shoes, herve leger, longchamp, valentino shoes, ralph lauren, birkin bag, nike air huarache, ferragamo shoes, longchamp handbags, longchamp outlet online

6:35 PM  
Blogger ninest123 Ninest said...

juicy couture outlet, toms outlet, moncler outlet, louis vuitton canada, coach outlet, canada goose outlet, pandora jewelry, moncler, swarovski jewelry, ugg, moncler, canada goose, canada goose outlet, michael kors outlet, hollister canada, louis vuitton pas cher, michael kors outlet online, louis vuitton, moncler, canada goose outlet, louis vuitton uk, marc jacobs handbags, moncler, thomas sabo uk, montre femme, moncler, doke gabbana outlet, uggs canada, karen millen, sac lancel, pandora uk, swarovski uk, ugg soldes, sac louis vuitton, replica watches, juicy couture, pandora jewelry, pandora charms, canada goose pas cher, barbour jackets, links of london uk, canada goose, canada goose, michael kors handbags, moncler, moncler outlet, canada goose, barbour, ugg boots, wedding dress, ugg, supra shoes
ninest123 10.10

6:36 PM  
Blogger oakleyses said...

burberry pas cher, christian louboutin uk, oakley sunglasses, polo ralph lauren, prada handbags, nike air max, louis vuitton outlet, ugg boots, replica watches, replica watches, tory burch outlet, nike free run, uggs on sale, louis vuitton, christian louboutin shoes, ray ban sunglasses, longchamp outlet, kate spade outlet, ugg boots, louboutin pas cher, christian louboutin, nike free, sac longchamp pas cher, polo ralph lauren outlet online, ray ban sunglasses, chanel handbags, oakley sunglasses, louis vuitton, oakley sunglasses wholesale, nike roshe, michael kors pas cher, louis vuitton outlet, longchamp outlet, nike outlet, jordan shoes, tiffany jewelry, prada outlet, oakley sunglasses, air max, gucci handbags, jordan pas cher, cheap oakley sunglasses, tiffany and co, louis vuitton outlet, longchamp pas cher, longchamp outlet, christian louboutin outlet

6:19 PM  
Blogger oakleyses said...

uggs outlet, michael kors outlet online, true religion outlet, polo lacoste, hollister pas cher, coach outlet, vans pas cher, nike air max uk, burberry handbags, lululemon canada, true religion jeans, replica handbags, michael kors outlet, sac vanessa bruno, timberland pas cher, new balance, michael kors outlet online, guess pas cher, ray ban uk, michael kors, nike air force, coach purses, ralph lauren uk, north face uk, michael kors outlet online, true religion outlet, nike free uk, north face, nike air max, oakley pas cher, michael kors outlet, converse pas cher, nike tn, hollister uk, hogan outlet, coach outlet store online, nike air max uk, true religion outlet, abercrombie and fitch uk, mulberry uk, michael kors, burberry outlet, michael kors outlet online, michael kors outlet, ray ban pas cher, nike blazer pas cher, sac hermes, kate spade

6:22 PM  
Blogger oakleyses said...

baseball bats, soccer jerseys, ralph lauren, beats by dre, giuseppe zanotti outlet, insanity workout, iphone 6s plus cases, vans outlet, nike roshe run, mcm handbags, iphone 6 cases, instyler, abercrombie and fitch, nike trainers uk, ghd hair, mont blanc pens, north face outlet, wedding dresses, valentino shoes, herve leger, hollister, lululemon, north face outlet, reebok outlet, chi flat iron, iphone 6 plus cases, new balance shoes, nike huaraches, oakley, nike air max, iphone 5s cases, babyliss, iphone 6s cases, ferragamo shoes, jimmy choo outlet, timberland boots, ipad cases, bottega veneta, longchamp uk, celine handbags, mac cosmetics, iphone cases, p90x workout, hollister clothing, s6 case, nfl jerseys, asics running shoes, soccer shoes, hermes belt, louboutin

6:24 PM  
Blogger oakleyses said...

swarovski, karen millen uk, louis vuitton, barbour, moncler outlet, juicy couture outlet, moncler, canada goose, canada goose outlet, canada goose outlet, pandora charms, converse, replica watches, pandora jewelry, doudoune moncler, canada goose uk, thomas sabo, lancel, moncler, canada goose outlet, ray ban, coach outlet, louis vuitton, juicy couture outlet, converse outlet, moncler uk, ugg pas cher, marc jacobs, supra shoes, links of london, montre pas cher, hollister, pandora uk, pandora jewelry, wedding dresses, louis vuitton, moncler, moncler outlet, hollister, gucci, toms shoes, ugg, nike air max, canada goose, swarovski crystal, louis vuitton, canada goose jackets, canada goose, ugg,ugg australia,ugg italia, louis vuitton, vans, barbour uk

6:26 PM  

Post a Comment

Links to this post:

Create a Link

<< Home

dating

I'm a C-list Blogebrity
A Member of Bust's Girl Wide Web

< ? Redhead Blogs # >

Personal Blogs
Personal Blogs /body>